You notice it in strange places.  In the middle of a lively conversation, you laugh on cue, say the right things, and still feel like you are watching yourself from outside. Or you finally sit down at the end of the day and realize you have no idea what you actually feel, only what you managed to get done.   This reflection enters that quiet, unnerving territory, when you are not sure how to reach your own heart. If naming that gap costs you something, you are the one this is