You notice it in strange places.  In the middle of a lively conversation, you laugh on cue, say the right things, and still feel like you are watching yourself from outside. Or you finally sit down at the end of the day and realize you have no idea what you actually feel, only what you managed to get done.   This reflection enters that quiet, unnerving territory, when you are not sure how to reach your own heart. If naming that gap costs you something, you are the one this is

For many people, Christmas arrives with a strange mixture of beauty and weight.   There may be moments of joy, warmth, or connection. And alongside them, there is often something heavier that lingers beneath the surface. Fatigue. Tenderness. Sadness. Irritability. A quiet sense of being emotionally full in a way that doesn’t feel celebratory.   When this happens, people often wonder what they’re doing wrong.   Why don’t I feel more grateful? Why am I anxious on Christmas Day?