You notice it in strange places.  In the middle of a lively conversation, you laugh on cue, say the right things, and still feel like you are watching yourself from outside. Or you finally sit down at the end of the day and realize you have no idea what you actually feel, only what you managed to get done.   This reflection enters that quiet, unnerving territory, when you are not sure how to reach your own heart. If naming that gap costs you something, you are the one this is

You keep saying yes while something in you quietly goes numb.   You are tired in a way that sleep cannot touch, and when someone asks what you actually want, you feel a kind of blankness, or panic, or anger that has nowhere to land. This reflection sits right in that exhausted space, for the person who has spent a long time making other people more comfortable than themselves and is no longer sure what desire even means. If you recognize yourself here, you are not being analy

By the time you finally lie down at night, your body feels exhausted, but your insides are wide awake. Thoughts sprint, conversations replay, your chest is tight. You scroll, you pray, you bargain with tomorrow. Nothing really lands. It just keeps moving.   You tell yourself, “I just need to calm down,” but that only adds another voice to the crowd.   Something in you is loud, and it will not be managed.     When Your Insides Won’t Quiet Down   For some, the noise is obvious:

For many people, Christmas arrives with a strange mixture of beauty and weight.   There may be moments of joy, warmth, or connection. And alongside them, there is often something heavier that lingers beneath the surface. Fatigue. Tenderness. Sadness. Irritability. A quiet sense of being emotionally full in a way that doesn’t feel celebratory.   When this happens, people often wonder what they’re doing wrong.   Why don’t I feel more grateful? Why am I anxious on Christmas Day?