When the Conversation Changes

Anthony set his phone on the table. “I’m doing everything I’m supposed to,” he said. “Scripture, prayer lists, journaling. And somehow I feel further away.”

I poured some tea into his mug and let the hum of the room catch up with us. “What would you like to have happen, now that you’ve done all those things?” I wondered.

He closed his eyes for a moment. “I want God to show up and give me some answers! I want to know what to do to feel like I am right in life.” He turned his palms upward on the table, a small gesture of honesty.

“If you don’t feel God in the usual things, where do you sense the Divine Presence?” I asked.

Anthony didn’t answer right away, but his shoulders relaxed down just a bit. Finally, he laughed, “Movies. I watched Frozen 2 with my daughter the other night, and it almost brought me to tears, the way I just felt the invitation to find and show myself, too.”

We both laughed, because we’d both been in those movies with our daughters. “So what does their story tell you about finding yourself and showing yourself?

We looked together at his week: not the devotional streaks or the checklist, but the shape of his days. Early alarms. Late emails. Prayers tucked into whatever crevice remained. “Right now, my whole life is built around meeting other people’s goals. I’ve put very little in place that is simply about letting what’s in me show up for discovery. In the movie, they risk walking away from the usual responsibilities to find out what’s within them.”

“What is it like for you to hear the Divine Presence through a movie like that?” I wondered.

He didn’t list spiritual disciplines. Instead, the words rose slowly, like they had been waiting for a chance to breathe: “I feel invited to just be still with myself and explore what God raises up from within. It’s my own summons to adventure in life with God.

“How would you like to respond to that invitation?” I asked.

Anthony brightened up and grabbed his phone. He typed for a minute, then set it down again. “I want to write our adventure like a script. I always loved creative writing and haven’t done it in years. I’m just going to spend some time in silence each night, let come what God brings up, and then I am going to write a few sentences describing the encounter.”

“What is it like for you to be with the Divine Presence that way?, I wondered.

Anthony smiled and nodded, “I feel really happy and thankful. I’ve been doing all these things I thought I had to do, and instead I feel like God has invited me into something that deeply touches my soul.”

When our disciplines become a burden, creating space between the Divine Presence and us, sometimes it’s an invitation to listen and relate in a new way. How does the Divine communicate with you?

Live and Lead with Soul,

     Ben Shoup