Amelia Quinn
When I first reached out for spiritual direction, I felt caught between the faith I grew up with and how I presently experience God. I longed for a more expansive, deep, and authentic faith but didn’t know what came next, and all these old beliefs seemed to stand in my way. I held a lot of fear around the struggle between my old beliefs and present experiences of God and evaluating those. Could I trust myself in the process? Ultimately, could I trust God in it?
Then, I attended Ben’s sacred conversation training and noticed parts of myself begin to heal. I thought that if the church engaged faith this way, our world would be a different place, full of love, authenticity, healing, and growth. That is a world I want to be a part of, and I feel like I move toward it each time I have spiritual direction with Ben, as he invites me into a process of exploration where we engage God in the mystery of it all instead of through packaged answers.
I knew spiritual direction was working for me when I began to release guilt about how to be a better Christian and let myself feel God invite me into the adventure of life. I began to build practices that felt personal and authentic to my faith instead of working to fit a box, and my sacred stories in the Bible offered me curiosity instead of guilt. While I still run into fears of getting it wrong, I have a trusted partner on the journey with me, and what a gift that has been. Now, I feel more open, curious, and carry a hopeful anticipation toward life. From my regular practices to looking at the trees and feeling the sun on my face, now I feel my faith come alive in all things.
Sara Johnson
When I met Ben, our church’s senior pastor had just resigned, and shortly after, our associate resigned. Our church was without a pastor, and our board was now responsible for filling that leadership gap while we conducted a search. Then, I found myself in the position of vice president of the board. I felt ill-equipped and wanted to run away! In the frantic chaos of all that was happening, I felt discouraged, distressed, exasperated, and perplexed about how to move forward.
As Ben worked with our board, he brought calm, composed, yet firm energy to the challenges we needed to navigate. With insight, clarity, depth, and simplicity amidst what felt like chaos, he articulated pathways forward where we saw none. Ben guided us in a way that fostered our growth and empowered us with the tools to become adept, resilient leaders.
I knew things were going to work when Ben took our board through a process of release using graham crackers and candy to help us incorporate our losses as learnings. We let go of our own blockages and opened to our ability to lead through transition well. We learned how attending to our experiences enabled us to lead others through their losses and move forward as a community. Ben modeled and invited us into the good way of living and leading—wholeheartedly. This is the fruit that grew and has endured.
Now, I stay curious about what is really going on, dig deeper, and have confidence that I possess the resources to handle difficult situations. I control and hurry less, surrender and trust more. Not only do we have a pastor who is a wonderful fit for our church, but we also have a more wholehearted community that joins in the ministry our church exists for.
James Earley
I was looking for a way to process my spiritual journey and had sought spiritual direction in the past. Those conversations tended to focus on a ‘disciplined approach to spiritual disciplines,’ which never worked for my ADHD brain. I felt discouraged because I frequently found myself in strategy sessions about how to be more disciplined rather than reflecting on my spiritual journey. On top of that, I was frustrated because my spiritual journey was changing, and my standard answers weren’t making sense anymore.
Ben has been creative and flexible in his approach. I remember one time when I was feeling overstimulated and overwhelmed. Ben created space for me to have an imaginative conversation with what was weighing on me. To my surprise, it became an experience of welcoming the gift of peace. It was so weird and so fruitful. He shows up with a structure ready, but when I opt out of that way forward, he’s always ready to drop that structure and allow the right one for our session to emerge on the fly. It feels refreshing and safe.
I feel like I get to show up however I am at the time of the session, and Ben can roll with me. He has been hospitable to my shifting spiritual journey, breeding a sense of safety, so I feel I can authentically share my wonderings, frustrations, struggles, and unique joys without the fear of saying ‘the wrong thing.’
Patti VanDorp
When I began working with Ben, I felt like I was walking through an unknown land, blindfolded. I could see just enough light to keep moving but kept falling into needless hurt, navigating what was my responsibility to handle versus what an abusive leader was heaping on me.
Ben cultivated a safe space where I felt supported to examine myself and my circumstances, navigate my own shadow side, and bravely chart a course through my situation. With Ben, I feel like all the discoveries are still mine, but instead of being frustrated by the process, I am invigorated. He carries a posture of humility and graciousness that extends to others in a deep and genuine way, which catches on, and I have been able to carry with me beyond our sessions.
Now, I move more confidently and with greater authenticity in the spaces God has called me. I am more generous and enjoy getting to know myself better. I am grateful for the way Ben carefully and conscientiously applies his craft.
Kirsten Fong
When I started working with Ben, I was one year into my term as a member of my church board, and both of our pastors had accepted jobs at new churches. I was suddenly faced with not only a leadership role on the board as the Clerk but also assisting the staff, planning and implementing services, and managing all that happens at a church.
At first, I felt paralyzed. Where was I supposed to even begin? Would I be capable of being part of the solution? Could I help keep our church going as we started looking for a new pastor?
Ben approached us from a place of compassion and understanding. I felt grateful because he listened to my concerns with empathy and guided me in a way that helped me come to a creative and wise plan of action.
I knew the process was going to work when Ben guided the board through a process of integration and release. He had each of us attend our unique experiences of loss, familiarizing us at the same time with what our community was experiencing and needed guidance through. It gave me the opportunity to be angry over our losses, to integrate the gifts in them, and to let go of the rest. I knew with that approach, Ben would guide me through the crisis because new possibilities began to arise.
Now, though my term on the board is complete and our church has welcomed a new pastor, I have confidently accepted a new position called Elder of Congregational Care. My experience with Ben helped me grow in areas that enable me to care for members of my community who are hurt and need love.